but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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