would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
