i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
