well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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