every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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