Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
