oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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