But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
