I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
