Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
