I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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