A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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