How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
the liver wants what the liver wants
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
