alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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