just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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