just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
