It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
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I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
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I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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