ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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