i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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