Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
