It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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