I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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