escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i think im in europe. pls send help
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
