Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
