If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
