you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
