why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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