i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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