what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
