So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
