obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize