i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
