yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
