Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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