I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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