I wanna bring you to show and tell
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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