i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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