Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
from now on my penis is your penis
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
