My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
