u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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