we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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