Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize