mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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