You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
