Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
