This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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