didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
