Do you still have your period?
Non-Jews are for practice
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize