So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
