he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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