is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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