It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
