i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
