I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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