will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
