We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
