Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
