Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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