Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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